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March 30th, 2008
11:53 am - 87, not "four score and seven"
"He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met."
- Abraham Lincoln
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February 18th, 2006
09:39 pm - You bet your life
Sometimes I think life is a whole lot like playing poker.
Other times, I'm inclined to think that playing poker is a whole lot like life.
Since we're discussing poker and life and such, legend has it that Wild Bill Hickock was shot to death holding two pair--black aces black eights. (What the fifth card was is uncertain.) This has become known as the "dead man's hand".
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February 14th, 2006
08:51 am - Less is more
Oscar Wilde, living in Paris, sent a telegram to his London publisher to find out how his book was being received. The message read:
?
The publishers reply?
!
On a related note, the interrobang was invented in 1962.
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12:25 am - You've been kippled
Some schoolchildren, upon reading in the newspaper that Rudyard Kipling was paid 50 pence per word, rounded up 50p and sent a telegram hiring him to send them a word.
The word he sent back was "thanks".
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February 13th, 2006
12:03 am - Word!
Can one word say it all?
Try these little thought experiments . . .
- The presidential motorcade is going to pass by you, and you have a small sign to hold up for him to see. There's only room for one word. Which word would you choose?
- You're going to be on TV. You know that as soon as you open your coat that the engineer in the control booth is going to hit the "dump" button. You'll only have an instant to reach out to the world. What word would be on your t-shirt?
- She is about to leave you. The moment passing as she's starting her car is the last chance you'll ever have to say what needs to be said. You have only enough time to write a word on her dewy windshield with your fingertip.
What's your word?
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February 1st, 2006
12:03 pm - Division vs. unity
Drawing lines comes naturally when your gourd is still green. But as the summer sun ripens you a bit, you start to realize that you never see Yin by itself. You realize that nothing is every totally Yangish, either.
It's such a pity. The Yin/Yang symbol is such a cute little thing and it would be ever-so-pleasant if the map to the universe were all neat and pretty.
But if expressing The Way is your intent, you'll do better to go tattoo an assymetrical mottled gray blob on your ass.
You won't find pure Yin. There's no pure Yang.
It's just Ying.
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January 25th, 2006
01:49 pm - No news is a Good Thing
What do people mean when they say "no news is good news"?
Do they mean the absence of news is reason to be encouraged? Or do they mean that there's no such thing as good news?
Logically, their intent has to be encouragement. After all, there is such a thing as good news. But you wouldn't think so if you watch TV or read the newspapers, now would you?
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January 24th, 2006
08:57 am - A surprising conclusion
. . . spider.
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January 23rd, 2006
03:02 pm - The plot thickens
Spider, spider on the wall
Ain't you got no sense at all?
Can't you see that wall's fresh plastered?
Off the wall you dirty . . .
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January 22nd, 2006
03:24 pm - Fill in the blank
The more bumper stickers on the car, the more __________ its driver is.
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January 19th, 2006
08:08 am - Ever after
It's said that about half of all marriages end up in divorce.
Divorces involve a lot of time, effort, and expense. There's still stigma attached to divorce, and children, grandparents, and other family members are often affected, too.
What do you suppose the divorce rate would be if all the people who weren't happy in their marriages got divorced?
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January 18th, 2006
08:52 am - Capturing the essence of the butterfly metaphor
Butterflies are beautiful, yet elusive.
Folk wisdom maintains that the best way to catch a butterfly is to be still, letting it choose to light upon you on its own free will. Perhaps, but since wasps are not nearly so bashful as butterflies, isn't it more likely that you will attract a wasp than a butterfly?
No, there's more to it than just being still, doing nothing.
Attracting a butterfly is all about being a flower.
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January 17th, 2006
09:01 am - Now let me put what I just said in reverse
A self-piloting car would be great.
But then you see something like this and you think wouldn't this be a blast? I hope Volkswagen decides to make it.
Volkswagen GX3
What's old is new again. Did you know that Buckminster Fuller patented a 3-wheeled car back in the 1930's? He called it the Dymaxion Car.
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January 16th, 2006
03:18 pm - Driving is soooo 20th century
How much longer will it be until we'll have self-piloting cars?
It is technologically possible right now, but it is not sociologically feasible. My guess is that it won't happen in the U.S.A. first.
Imagine what the change will be like. How will smart cars coexist with dumb cars? If they existed, would people be less prone to take airplanes when they go on longer trips?
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January 15th, 2006
02:42 pm - It's about time.
Why do we make things so complicated?
Take time, for example. The way we tell time is outdated.
It used to be that people weren't all that good at division, so the number twelve became very popular. Twelve can be divided into halves, thirds, fourths, even sixths without having any bothersome remainder left over. Dividing the clock face into 12 hours made sense back then.
Everything changed when humankind figured out how to use the number zero. Division became no big deal when zero showed up on the scene. In fact, it's now much easier to divide and multily by ten that it is use parts and multiples of twelve.
This fact was not lost on those clever Swiss watchmakers at Swatch. Back in 1998 they tried to introduce "Internet Time". Their plan was to simplify the way we keep time. Their method divides a day into 1,000 "beats" instead of 1,440 minutes. Converting over to Internet Time would mean that the world would now share one time instead of being divided by a patchwork of timezones.
A capital idea! What a pity that their corporate ego was even bigger than their huge idea.
Instead of offering up this meme as a gift to humanity, they just couldn't resist trying to turn it into a PR coup for Swatch. And who could blame them for their hubris? At the time, Swatch watches were all the rage. People were collecting Swatch watches the way they collected Beanie Babies.
Swatch decided that the most fitting place to start/stop each day was their headquarters in Biel, Switzerland. They modestly decided that the new time be officially called "BMT"-Biel Mean Time.
Is it any surprise that other leading watchmakers didn't jump on the bandwagon?
It's really too bad that Swatch was so psychologically tone-deaf. Many of us now live our lives on a scale much larger than the time zones we live in. A simpler, more efficient, and globally shared way of telling time would have made the world run like clockwork.
Swatch Internet Time
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January 14th, 2006
11:55 pm - The evolution of Intelligent Design
TOP SECRET: FOR RIGHTEOUS EYES ONLY!!!
Congratulations, Christian soldiers!
OPERATION INTELLIGENT DESIGN seems to be going nicely. Remember, it's up to us to keep on doing the Lord's work because, well, He is obviously busy doing other stuff.
It's almost time to unleash our attack on the Theory of Gravity--OPERATION INGENIOUS SUCTION.
Maintain your state of readiness and stand by for further orders. That is all.
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11:35 pm - Hello, World!
Call me Ishmael.
On second thought, don't call me Ishmael. That would only add to the confusion.
Your stumbling across this blog is serendipitous indeed. I'm going to write about Stuff That Matters.
Or not. I guess it all depends on what matters to you.
So . . . stay tuned.
Or don't.
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jabberwonk's journal